The Reason
by MademoiselleKraut
Summary: Jean sees Marco as the example of the common saying 'the good die young'. He misses that bevy of freckles to the point where he is starting to act like the unselfish person he totally wasn't and more so like Marco. So when an escapee from a 'research centre' in 'Sina' needs his help, Jean does what he can to help the kid with freckles so much his long gone friend. JeanMarco.
1. Prologue

Prologue: To You, 2'000 Years from Now

How he missed the feel of the warm summer breeze and the chirping of the birds. All of it was just a hazy dream in the sea of forgetfulness. It bothered him how he could remember anything or anyone, but sometimes in the dim lighted room when there were no doctors or nurses, he could almost here the chirping of the swallows and how cool the breeze would feel on the hottest days. He remembered the fighting and sweat that came with training, but for the life of him he could not remember what he was training for.

Faces of friends were blurred, he could never make out any distinctive features. It lead him to believe that it was all a dream, but in his heart of hearts he had a feeling that those strange dreams the doctors called them were his life. The life he could not remember outside of the room.

Amongst the dreams were urges. Not the urges of the boy who recently hit puberty, but the urge to claw and bit at his skin. For some reason he could not being to comprehend, he wanted to see blood pour from him, but alas he had been too weak to bite through.

Mentally unstable is what the head doctor once said. He could hear the blond doctor from the hall.

"He is too weak both mind and body. To have him transform now would lead to him becoming erratic in form."

Transforms, in form; what was the meaning being these strange words? He did not care, all that mattered was that he was too weak in the mind to be of any use to the doctors.

Was it the voices he would hear out of no where, or maybe the attacks he would have that cause muscle spasms. He did not know.

The young man just focused on the imaginary shrills of the swallows and the alto laughter from a forgotten friend.


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: What Happened In Trost Will Remain.

Dreams are human's worst enemy. The things we want appear and disappear the second night falls. Nightmares are even worse. They seem to last longer and the pain is horrid. What did Jean Kirschstein dream about; what were his nightmares?

Jean dreamt of Marco and him on one of the rare free days before Trost happened. He dreamt of the cherries they had bought with saved money and eating them on top of one of the structures. No one could see it was them spitting the pits from up there and only stopped when there were no more to eat.

He dreamt of the one time Connie, Sasha, him and Reiner had a contest to see who could tell the scariest story out of the bunch. In the end it was Eren who won when he over heard and began to tell a story about Titans eating little children and other stuff.

He dreamt of Armin who would help him when it came to academia and Mikasa who once helped him with a battle stance. Bertholdt and Annie even appeared in his dreams, with their quiet ways and in rare cases with Annie kind gestures.

He dreamt of his friends, so what were his nightmares of? Simple; Trost. It was the same dream over and over and that particular morning was no different. His nails dug into the mattress of the lower bunk, gritting his teeth as he saw friends getting eaten over and over again. Then there was the worst one, the one that was always saved for last. For whatever reason, the way Jean dreamt of Marco being killed was different each time, one more gruesome then the previous. After the incident with Annie and her reveal as the Female Titan he dreamt of Annie ripping his friend apart.

He woke with a start. His hair plastered to his face with sweat and blind tears the joined the sweat as they rolled down his face. He was too scared to move. The only comfort came from the knowledge that he wasn't the only one in the shared room that experienced the horrid nightmares.

Armin who slept on the top part of his bunk less often then before woke up crying for his Grandfather. Connie who shared the second bunk with Eren would wake up startled and asking where he was for the first minute. Eren was terrifying in the wake of his nightmares. He would talk in his sleep about killing them all just like how he had when they were in Trost according to Armin. Eren once confided to him that he dreamt that in titan form he had killed everyone he loved, that he was the titan that ate his mother.

"I once crushed Mikasa as she tried to get me out,' Eren had said in a hushed voice. It had been a night of scaring between the two natural rivals. Maybe that was the first stepping stone of their new found friendship. It was only them that night as well, "Captain Levi then tried to stop me, but… I grabbed him and…ate him. The last thing he called out was for Mikasa."

"Of course, makes sense."

It was no secret that Mikasa and Captain Levi were currently a thing and a thing for over 6 months at the time.

It was the friendship that they had built from that moment that allowed Eren that morning to comfort Jean as he woke from his stupor.

"Jean," Eren whispered. The room was still dark which was not shocking since the analog clock on the nightstand read 4:30 in the morning. The second hand ticked so slowly, "Jean you were have a bad dream.

Jean propped himself up and shook his head lethargically as to shake away the memories of the nightmare, "I'm fine. Go back to sleep Titan Boy," Jean didn't need to see Eren's face to know that he smiled.

"Come Horse face, let's go for a walk."

Jean smiled softly. It was like he had no choice, it was a friendly command.

The left the room without waking the two sleeping boys. Connie mumbled in his sleep as the left.

The walked down the halls the Reconnaissance Headquarters. While in the time of Levi's old squad it served as a quiet place to observe Eren, it space became use to the Recon as a new base of operations for the mere 300 soldiered operated regiment. Having all the soldiers there meant body heat which was unbearable in the summer days, but it was no use for the cold nights of autumn. The floor burned their feet without their socks.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Eren finally asked. Jean shook his head.

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure Eren; there isn't anything new about this one."

"It's always better to talk things out. Armin taught me that."

"No offence to Armin, but that is the shittest thing I've ever heard. Talking about it won't make it go away or bring back our friends."

Eren shrugged in agreement, but by the look on his face he had something to say in disagreement, "Yes that it true. Mina, Thomas, Milieus, Marco and so many others won't come back, but don't you think Marco would rather you happy than what you are now?"

Jean 'tsked' loudly before speaking, "Don't play the 'Marco Card' here. That's a low blow."

"It's only a low blow, because you know it's true. He was always mollycoddling you like Mikasa did to me. I understand what he wanted. He wanted you safe."

"Yes, but he didn't have this obsession to keep me alive and stay by my sides at all costs."

"Hey," Eren said through gritted teeth, "Don't go insulting Mikasa because you're cranky. She saw her parents get murder before her eyes. I think you would be clingy to your remaining 'family' if you walked in her shoes. She also isn't as bad as before."

"Because of _Levi_," Jean imitated Mikasa voice to the same dopey tone she made when she spoke their commanding officer's name, "How did she go from being all like 'I'll hurt that pygmy' to 'I love that bastard to death'?"

Eren chuckled. He could see what his friend was doing, avoiding the touchy subject. He went along with it for Jean's sake, "Captain Levi just asked her out one day for a simple dinner and they just sort of clicked. They were dared by Squad Leader Hanji that they wouldn't make it through the first half hour."

Jean tried hard to keep his laughter quite, "Seriously? That's how they got together?"

"Yeah, they enjoyed themselves and it didn't hurt that he gave he a kiss at the end of the night. She wouldn't shut up about his lips."

That was the last straw for Jean. He refused to keep his laughter down after hearing what he marked as pathetic way to get together, "Goddamn, that is too cheesy. They must have popped out of one of those stupid love stories Noble women read. Girl goes through horrific past, loses family twice, meets a man who had lost family too and is mark as the strongest of the strong. By chance, she is strong too. They turn out to be perfect for each other after a long standing hatred. Wow."

"Jean keep it down, you idiot," it was no use, Eren's laughter was becoming uncontrolled too.

"You have to admit though."

"Okay, okay. Those two hooking up is one in a million by the standards they are in and yes it sounds like a chest romance novel, but they love each other. Dammit Jean, you turn everything into a joke."

The blond gave his trademark smile and said quite simply, "I would go crazy if I didn't."

-0-

"…So then the Titans will be drawn towards the outer edge of the formation therefore decreasing causalities," Hanji explained at the breakfast table. The only one who seem genuinely interested was Armin. Connie and Sasha were putting the thick (and disgusting) porridge on their faces like beards to make Historia laugh, Eren was stuffing as much food down his mouth while pouring over a technique manual and the Captain and Mikasa who were sitting at the next table over were being disgustingly sweet. Jean watched them for a moment almost wishing he was in the clean freak's place.

"…So what do you think Jean?" Armin asked.

"Huh?"

"About the medical bay's escape."

"I haven't heard anything about it."

Levi who had caught Armin's words was quick to explain, "It was in the papers this morning. A university in Sina has a research and medical bay for scientists and leading doctors. Apparently, one young subject escaped a week ago and we're only hearing about it know. Quite pathetic if you ask me."

"What else did it mention," the blond was now intrigued by the story."

"Not much other than that the MPs will handle it and that the patient isn't dangerous."

"You forgot to mention," Mikasa added, "That the patient was under top priority."

"Yeah that too."

Jean looked down at his bowl of soggy mess. Why was the news only being let out now about the patient and why was he or she under top priority? All he could imagine was some poor sucker wandering the small woods of Wall Rose or Sina.

'Poor kid," he whispered to the porridge and began eating it once more.

The morning passed on quickly and with all his chores for the day done, Jean snuck something for lunch and made his way into the woods surrounding the HQ. He rode his horse in till the sounds of his comrades training were no longer audible. It was a thing Jean had picked up after the fiasco with Reiner and Bertholdt to leave into the woods and read till dinner came around; that is if he was finished everything by noon. In the forest all he had to worry about the characters of the books he read and nothing more. The serene noise of a near by creek and birds chirping away in the trees brought the man a peace he had not had in a while. Like the Commander with his planning for expeditions, Hanji's experiments and what not and the Captain's cleaning, it was a thing to block out horrid memories and focus solely on the task at hand. It was the only thing keeping him sane at the moment.

A couple hours passed before an unexpected noise came out of no where. Jean put the book down and got down from the tree branch he was sitting on. It definitely wasn't a deer; they ran off at the mere smell of someone like him. The sound was made by a person, someone who was trying to make it through the under brush. Remembering his training, he struck the offence pose and prepared for a fight. Instead an obviously young man wearing a cloak came out of the bush.

"Who are you," he cried out to the cloak figure. The kid froze like a deer catching the sent of a predator. He could make out from under the hood that the kid was dirty and that one of his eyes was closed. Jean's eyes wandered to any clear skin on the stranger. A hole ripped in a pair of pant obviously too big for him, hands with bruises plus cuts and a shakiness that only came from hunger.

"Sit down," the blond ordered to which the cloaked figure obeyed, "Now take off that hood."

The figure did so.


End file.
